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Sunday, May 31, 1987

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Calvin finds himself no longer in the third dimension. He's only 2D. He's thin as a sheet of paper. His feet have no surface area. Only by waving his body along the ground can he generate enough friction to move. But having width but no thickness leaves him vulnerable to gusts of wind. To avoid drafts, he pulls himself into a tube to roll across the floor. Someone is coming, so he turns sideways to hide. As thin as he is, he's nearly an invisible vertical line. Dad is lying under the kitchen sink, trying to fix something. Calvin asks if he knows why he couldn't see him all morning. Calvin explains he was two dimensional. Dad mutters that he bets Calvin can't do it all afternoon also.

Transcript

Before beginning any home plumbing repair, make sure you possess the proper tools for the job. Check the following list of handy explitives and see that you know how to use them. Calvin wakes up one morning to find he no longer exists in the third dimension! He is in 2-D! Thinner than a sheet of paper, Calvin has no surface area on the bottom of his feet! He is immobile! Only by waving his body can Calvin create enough friction with the ground to move! Having width but no thickness, Calvin is vulnerable to the slightest gust of wind! To avoid drafts, he twists himself into a tube, and rolls across the floor! Someone is coming! Calvin quickly stands up straight. Turning perfectly sideways, he is nearly invisible vertical line! No one will notice! Hey, Dad, know why you didn't see me all morning?? I was two-dimensional! Hmmm, I'll bet you can't do it all afternoon, too ... dear!

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