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Sunday, July 26, 1992
Calvin is trying to determine whether there is a universal moral law. He says he'll throw his water balloon at Susie, unless he receives some sign in the next 30 seconds. He says the universe has the power to stop him, and he'll accept the sign. Nothing happens, so Calvin hits Susie with the balloon. She chases Calvin. Lying on the ground, beaten up, Calvin laments the universe gives the sign after you've done it.
Transcript
In order to determine if there is any universal moral law beyond human convention, I have decised the following test. I will throw this water baloon at Susie Derkin's unless I receive some sigh withing the next 30 seconds that this is wrong. It is in the universe's power to stop me. I'll accept any remarkable physical happenstance as a sign I shouldn't do this. Ready?...Go! Tum te tum doo doo. ...Nothing's happening...five seconds to g! Times up! That proves it! There's no moral law! Wheee! Ha ha! Hey Susie!! Help! Help! Help! Why does the universe always give you the sign after you do it??