As Moe readies a punch to Calvin, he says Moe has to sign a form. Moe asks what it is, and Calvin tells him it's a statement acknowledging responsibility for his behavior. Calvin says hitting him entitles him to compensation of medical treatment and damages for pain and suffering. Calvin lies on the floor beaten up. He says nobody takes responsibility for his actions anymore.

Calvin hands a form to Dad to sign and notarize. Dad reads the form. It states he's never parented before and is liable for mistakes made on the job. He will pay for any counseling Calvin may require due to parental ineptitude. Calvin is sent to bed. In bed, Calvin doesn't see how you're allowed to have a kid without signing one of those forms.

Calvin hands Miss Wormwood a contract. It's an agreement to compensate Calvin for loss of job income because of his poor education. Miss Wormwood says if he gets a poor education, it's due to a lack of effort on his part, not hers. Calvin says somebody ought to pay him if he doesn't learn anything.

Calvin asks Susie to sign a document. It annuls their knowledge of each other's existence and prohibits future social interaction. It states Calvin will never ask her out on a date and imposes penalties for attempts to engage in conversation. Calvin gets the form back and says it's almost insulting how fast she signed it.

Calvin has a contract for Hobbes. It codifies terms of their friendship. Hobbes can renegotiate in 20 years. Hobbes says people are friends because they want to be, not because they have to be. Calvin says that's what his contract fixes. Hobbes hands the form back and says if your friends are contractual, you don't have any.