Calvin decides he'll believe in astrology and horoscopes. He says it only makes sense every facet of their daily lives should depend on the position of celestial bodies millions of miles away. Calvin points to the paper, which has a horoscope which reads "Many key policies implemented". He says he has to have his way. Hobbes can't believe those mischievous planets. Calvin says the newspaper couldn't print it if it wasn't true.

Calvin reads his horoscope. He says he's fated to get his way. Hobbes asks what his key policies are. As they go outside to play, Calvin says the first is "don't do homework". Later, Hobbes notices Mom coming over. He says it looks like she has a bone to pick with the moon. Calvin says he'll assert his views in a confident manner.

Calvin is doing homework. Hobbes says Mom didn't care about the lunar sanction of his no homework policy. Calvin says the horoscope said many of his policies would be implemented, not all of them. It says to expect a turnabout in his favor. Calvin figures that means Mom will relent next time. Hobbes asks what Calvin's other key policies are. No baths, don't go to school, stay up late. Those are the ones that will be implemented. Hobbes wonders if the astrologer was looking through the wrong end of the telescope.

Mom tells Calvin to take a bath, but Calvin says she has no say in the matter. Mom pushes him along. He says his horoscope says circumstances will turn in his favor. He says all human affairs are determined by stars and planets. They say his key policies will be implemented. That means no bath and no bedtime. In the tub, Calvin says it's not good to thwart the intentions of the universe.

Calvin complains that not a single part of his horoscope came true. He wonders what went wrong. How could planets and stars be misread? What kind of science is this? Calvin wonders if tomorrow's horoscope will run a correction and apology.

Calvin asks if the horoscope has a retraction. Hobbes says no, there is just a new one for today. He reads it to Calvin. It mentions popularity rising and big dividends. Calvin figures that's good. Hobbes continues. It mentions emphasizing romance. The opposite sex finds him irresistible. Calvin is horrified. Hobbes suggests that he knows what the big dividends are.

Mom chases Calvin to go to school. He complains his horoscope says he's irresistible to girls today. He keeps running, asking what if Susie kisses him. Dad watches all this while reading the paper. Mom catches Calvin and yells for Dad to get his feet while she pries his fingers loose. Dad wonders what it would cost to rent a place in town.

At the bus stop, Calvin says maybe today's horoscope won't come true. Hobbes teases him about the horoscope saying "opposite sex finds you irresistible". Calvin says he doesn't believe it astrology anymore. It's all phony. Hobbes keeps teasing Calvin. Calvin says yesterday's prediction didn't come true, so today's won't either. Hobbes asks when the wedding is. He asks if he should wear his spats. Calvin starts fighting with Hobbes, saying Hobbes will be wearing a body cast. Hobbes says they'll see how Calvin kisses girls with a fat lip.

They continue fighting, while Calvin says he's never getting married. Here come Susie. Calvin says he has to discourage romance. Hobbes says smoldering passion is his fate. Susie says the dirt covering Calvin's features is a big improvement. Calvin whispers that it's true. He's a love magnet.

Calvin tells Susie to stay away. He says the stars and planets are doing this. His aura is uncontrollable. Susie wonders what he's talking about. Calvin races to the bus, saying he's safe. He's happy he's off to school. Susie walks to the bus, saying the way Calvin's brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

Hobbes asks Calvin if Susie kissed him. Calvin says that after he put the worm in her hair, she knocked him down and kicked him. Calvin says his horoscope was completely wrong again. The planets have no influence on him. He says it's a relief to know his life isn't controlled by outside forces. He's a master of his own fate. Later, in the bathtub, Hobbes adds that is true, to a point. Calvin says Mom's predictions should be in the paper. Those sure come true.

Calvin says everyone wants to know what the future holds, but you have to wait until it happens. The best preparation is to take the present, and.... Calvin trips over a rock and falls into some mud. Hobbes finishes the sentence with ...think about what you're doing. Calvin gets up and tells Hobbes no, ...get yourself a good luck charm.