Mom opens Calvin's bedroom door and tells him this is the third time she's called him. He needs to get up. Calvin grumbles that he doesn't want to get up or go to school. Mom says he has to, whether he wants to or not. Calvin sits up in the bed and tells Mom that for her information, he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do. Mom asks if that's so. Calvin, standing outside waiting for the school bus, says Mom sure can make you want to do something.

Calvin is grousing about not wanting to catch the bus or go to school. With a frown on his face, he says he's tired of everyone telling him what to do. He hates his life, he hates everything. He wishes he was dead. He thinks about it, then says not really. He says he wishes everyone else was dead.

Susie says hi to Calvin. HMPH, he grumbles. Susie asks what's the matter. Calvin tells her to go step in front of a cement mixer. Susie calls Calvin a jerk. She tells him he can just stand there and be grumpy all by himself. Now Susie is frowning. Calvin gives a nasty smile and thinks nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

Susie asks Calvin what he's so mad about. She asks if he didn't find all the bugs he needed for his insect collection. Susie asks where his collection is, since it's due today. Calvin, with a start, says he forgot his collection. Susie tells him to go home and get it. He might make it back before the bus arrives. Calvin gets on the ground and says that's not what he meant. He tells Susie to help him find some ants. She asks if he forgot it entirely.

Calvin is running around trying to catch bugs. He tells Susie to help him. She explains they were supposed to be working on the projects all month. She tells him he can't do the whole thing on the last morning while waiting for the bus. She asks how he could possibly have forgotten it. She tells him it's all the class has been doing. What has he been doing? Susie asks if he doesn't care about getting a good education. Calvin, on hands and knees looking for bugs, asks Susie if he can have any bugs that fly into her open mouth.

Susie tells him the bus is coming. Calvin finds a bug. Susie tells him he's wasting his time. The teacher will know he didn't spend any time on the collection. Calvin tells her to stall the bus driver. Susie reminds him they were supposed to have 50 insects. He'll be lucky to have any. Calvin jumps into the air and stomps on a bug. He holds his shoe up to Susie and asks what kind it is. He tells her to scrape it off. Susie runs off, telling him to get away from her.

On the bus, Calvin is still looking for bugs. He checks the bus window. Susie can't believe he's doing this. He tells her to ask another kid if he has bugs in his window. Susie tells him there's no way he'll complete an insect collection on the way to school. She tells him to forget it. He agrees. Then, Calvin asks Susie how much she wants for her collection. He starts at a quarter, then raises it to thirty cents. Susie replies that she spent a month on it.

Calvin looks at a puddle. He sees a worm. He asks if worms are bugs. Susie tells him that worm has been floating for days. Calvin has ten minutes before class starts. If he catches five bugs a minute, he'll get an "A". He finds another insect on the ground. Susie tells him that's a little ball of lint. Calvin is sure the teacher won't look real close at every hairy bug in 30 kids' collections.

The bell rings. Calvin doesn't have his insects. He has a drowned worm, a piece of fuzzy lint that looks like a bug, a live ant, and a smashed fly. Susie offers that if he scientifically names them in the next 30 seconds, he might get an "F+". Calvin asks if he has to label them, too. He was going to put them all in an envelope. Susie says she doesn't think there's any way he'll get an "F+". Calvin suggests that for all that work, he should at least get a "D".

Calvin asks how Susie mounted her bugs. She tells him with pins, in a box. Calvin decides to mount his bugs on notebook paper. Tape doesn't work too well as he tears the worm. He asks Susie for her paste. She makes a face and suggests at the rate he's going, maybe he'd prefer a stapler.

Calvin whispers over to Susie to help him think of scientific names of his bugs while the teacher's not looking. Susie tells him they're not supposed to talk in class. She tells him to do it himself. Miss Wormwood asks if Susie is having a pleasant conversation. Susie is horrified! Miss Wormwood asks her to move up front so she doesn't distract Calvin anymore. Calvin says he tried to get her to be quiet, but you know how girls are.

Susie is angry at her desk. She's mad at Calvin. He didn't do his assignment, he was the one who was talking, he should be sitting up front instead of her. As she covers her face with her hands, she thinks she wasn't doing anything wrong, but she got in trouble. She hopes Calvin feels bad about it. Calvin is writing Susie a note which asks her how the view is up there. He writes that he wants her to try to steal a chalkboard eraser for him.

Susie is passed a note. It's from Calvin. He wrote a poem. Roses are red, a deep crimson hue, when you got in trouble, you sure were too. Susie is enraged. She starts writing a note to Calvin, calling him dirty, rotten, lousy, stinking, and a nasty piece of moldy scum. As she's writing, Miss Wormwood catches her and asks if she's now writing notes in class. Once again, Susie is horrified!

Susie is being sent to the principal's office. She is very worried. She says it's all Calvin's fault. He got her in trouble. She wonders what she'll do. As she walks down the wide, empty hall toward the office, she says that they make the hall to the principal's office that wide on purpose.

Calvin, at his desk, thinks that Susie is really in trouble. He wipes his brow and thinks he got a break when the teacher blamed Susie for everything. Suddenly, he worries if Susie will rat on him, if they'll make her sing, if she'll squeal, and if she'll finger him. Susie is talking to the principal. She tells him she was worried he wouldn't believe her. The principal brings out a folder bulging with papers. He says they have quite a file on their friend, Calvin.

Calvin sees Susie returning from the principal's office. He thinks she looks pale. He wonders what happened. Calvin whispers over to her. He asks what they did to her. Did she get expelled? He asks if she snitched on him, and Susie looks at him with an evil smile. Calvin says she's a stoolie, a canary. She tells him he's going up the river.

Calvin is telling Hobbes that first, he got in trouble for not paying attention in class. He turned in his last-minute insect collection, for which he received a "D minus minus". Then, he got in trouble for getting Susie into trouble. Then, he got in trouble when he told Mom and then got in trouble again when she told Dad. He complains he's been in hot water since he got up. Hobbes tells Calvin that he bets all that makes him get his book report finished right on time. Calvin replies "My what".