In his bedroom, Calvin tells Hobbes there's no delaying the inevitable. He tells him to get in the car. Hobbes asks where they're going. Calvin tells him the same place they go every summer, camping on some desolate rock at the end of the earth. Calvin says that's how Dad likes to unwind. Hobbes asks "With everyone complaining". Calvin says Dad likes to watch them all suffer.

Driving along the road, Calvin tells Dad there is a town coming up. He suggests they just pull off, find a nice motel, and stay there for their vacation. They could swim in the pool, have air conditioning, cable TV, and room service. No one would have to know they didn't camp. Calvin won't tell. He suggests they can go to the store, buy a big fish, take his picture with it, and say they caught it. He asks Dad if they can. Mom thinks that's a good idea. Dad looks at her and tells her not to start.

Dad pulls up the canoe and says they're here. Calvin says it's good ol' "Itchy Island", home of the nuclear mosquitos. Dad says bug bites build character. Calvin reminds him that last year Dad said diarrhea builds character. Dad wants Calvin to think of what a fine young man he's growing up to be. Calvin agrees, if building all this character doesn't kill him first. Dad asks Calvin to open the duffel bag and get out the Spam. Calvin tells him that if the canoe is gone in the morning, it means Hobbes and he struck out for home.

Dad says it's great to be there. He thinks he'll jump in for a swim. He asks Mom to join him. Mom thinks the lake couldn't have melted before yesterday. Dad asks Calvin to join him. Calvin doesn't want to start the week with a little hypothermia. Dad goes in alone. Swimming on the lake, he comments on the best thing about vacations being the family togetherness.

Dad is outside Calvin's tent telling him to wake up and watch the fish jumping. He says it's a beautiful morning. The sun is barely up, and there is a mist on the water. There isn't a soul anywhere. He tells Calvin he thought Calvin wanted to go fishing. He tells him he has to get up early if he wants to catch anything. The canoe's ready, and the fishing pole is loaded. Calvin yells for Mom to make Dad go away. Fishing alone on the lake, Dad comments that another thing he likes about vacations is the sharing of special moments.

Dad decides that's enough fishing for now. He paddles back to camp. He can't wait for breakfast. He can almost smell the coffee from the canoe. He pulls the canoe up and wonders where everyone is. He yells that there will be some smallmouth bass flopping around in some sleeping bags in a minute or two. Mom looks out her tent and says she likes it when Dad goes off to work in the mornings. Dad says it's 6:30 already. He asks if they're going to waste the whole day.

Calvin plays on the beach. He complains that he's getting sand in his suit, and he doesn't want to sit on the beach. In the water, he complains the water is too cold. On the beach again, he complains that there's too much sun, and he'll get sunburned. Dad tries to put tanning lotion on Calvin, but he complains the lotion makes him greasy and the shirt makes him too hot. Under the umbrella, he complains it's boring in the shade. Walking along the beach with Dad, he complains that he hates walking. His legs are tired, the sand is hot, the water's cold, there's no shade, and he still has sand in his suit. Mom and Dad pick up the beach towels and umbrella. Calvin asks if they're going already.

Calvin is sitting on a rock with Hobbes looking at the sun set. There are birds flying, a few clouds in the sky, rock outcroppings and woods all around. Calvin says he bets he's missing some great TV shows.

Calvin asks Dad if he's painting a picture. Dad says yes. Calvin looks at the picture, then looks at the scene Dad is painting. Calvin says Dad is giving his harmonica playing skills a real run for the money.

Late at night, Hobbes sniffs the air in his and Calvin's tent. He's asleep. Calvin tells him he's dreaming and to wake up. Hobbes licks his lips and says some fresh fish would hit the spot. He says there's a nice big one. Calvin is frightened! He holds the flashlight at Mom's tent while she tells him she doesn't care what his clothes smell like. She's not washing anything now.

Calvin is scratching. He says the bugs are awful. Hobbes tells him not to scratch, or he'll make the bites worse. Calvin asks Hobbes what he's supposed to do. The itching is driving him crazy. Hobbes tells him to think of something else. Calvin asks what. Hobbes suggests something like stepping out of all that poison ivy. Calvin yells that he hates this place.

Dad tries to take a picture of Mom and Calvin eating. Mom says no, because she hasn't washed her hair for three days, and she's covered with bug bites. Dad asks if she doesn't want something to remember the trip by. Calvin doesn't want to remember it. He says he's been trying to forget it ever since they got there. He asks when they're leaving this dump. Dad walks away saying the next time he sees one of those smarmy Kodak commercials, he's going to put an ax through the TV.

As they're packing up to leave, Dad comments on how quickly the vacation went. He thinks after being out there, it will be a shock to go back to civilization. Calvin walks by with his sleeping bag and says he can't wait to get into the car, and crank up the A/C and some tunes. He tells Dad to shake a leg. Dad suggests that some day he'll get his DNA tested to see if Calvin really is his kid.