Miss Wormwood asks if Calvin can tell her what Lewis and Clark did. Calvin says no, but he offers to recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Miss Wormwood tells him to see her after class. Calvin dejectedly says he's not dumb. He just has a command of thoroughly useless information.

Miss Wormwood asks Calvin if he read the history chapter she assigned. Calvin says he tried, but the book publisher didn't use the proper print fixative. When he picked up the book, all the letters slid off the pages and fell on the floor. As he walks to the principal's office, Calvin says his excuses need to be less extemporaneous.