Calvin asks Hobbes what he should do when Moe comes to beat him up in gym class. Hobbes offers the thing tigers do when a rhino charges, climbing up the nearest tree. Calvin laments that advice. Hobbes muses that it doesn't impress the girls, but it's better than impressing them and getting killed.

Calvin wants Hobbes to help him with Moe at school. Calvin wants Hobbes to eat Moe. Hobbes is shocked. Calvin explains that tigers eat people all the time. Hobbes questions if the cafeteria ladies will let him use the oven.