The doorbell rings, and Calvin comes down the stairs to get it. He peeks out the window, then turns in horror. He calls for Hobbes to help him close the curtains and prop furniture against the door....it's Rosalyn.

Calvin asks Dad where he keeps his guns. Dad doesn't have any and wonders what the problem is. Calvin tells him Rosalyn is there and won't leave. Dad tells Calvin that he and Mom are going out. Mom reminds Calvin she told him that morning. Calvin asks if they have a wooden stake and a mallet.

Calvin grabs a box. He and Hobbes crawl in and address the box to Australia. They tell Mom to put them outside by the mailbox. Mom tells him not to be so silly. Mom asks where Rosalyn is, since Calvin was saying she was there. Calvin tells Mom that as far as he knows, she's still on the front porch. Mom yells at Calvin for not even letting her in, as the doorbell rings several times.

Mom opens the door and apologizes to Rosalyn. Rosalyn says it wasn't too wet and cold outside. Mom and Dad are running late, so they tell Rosalyn to help herself to anything in the fridge. Dripping wet, Rosalyn looks down at Calvin. Calvin says the door was jammed, and he couldn't get it open. Rosalyn tells him to go to bed.

Calvin tells Rosalyn that he's on a strict Big Mac diet, doctor's orders. Rosalyn says she better call the doctor. Calvin is worried that Rosalyn will call the doctor and find he's lying. Rosalyn pretends to call the doctor's office and asks about Calvin's dietary needs. Rosalyn tells Calvin the doctor says he should have a spoonful of castor oil and lie down all evening. Calvin is glad the doctor wasn't angry, but he doesn't know what castor oil is.

Calvin complains about the way Rosalyn set the table for dinner. The food smells funny, and it isn't fixed the way Mom does it. He likes the way Mom does it better. Rosalyn yells to Calvin that she's not his Mom. Calvin says Mom loves him more than life itself. She lets him do whatever he wants. Calvin calls Rosalyn a nasty ol' barracuda. Rosalyn can't believe she postponed a date for this.

The phone rings, and Rosalyn answers it. It's her boyfriend, Charlie. She starts telling him Calvin is driving her up the wall. Calvin gets on the upstairs extension and tells Charlie that Rosalyn is a sadistic kid-hater. He warns Charlie not to marry her, she'd be a terrible mother. Calvin, after being sent to bed, yells that after Charlie dumps her, he'll thank Calvin.

Calvin wants to escape. He's been sent to bed before Calvin's normal bedtime. Calvin hatches a plan to have Hobbes moan. When Rosalyn comes in, he'll throw a blanket over her. They'll tie her up and make their escape. Hobbes starts howling. Calvin yells down to Rosalyn that something is wrong with Hobbes. She asks if she should call the vet. Calvin says no, but she should come upstairs and close her eyes.

Mom and Dad return home. Mom asks how Calvin was that evening. Rosalyn is standing with arms crossed and a scowl on her face. Mom pays Rosalyn and thanks her. She gives a five dollar advance on the next time. Dad comments that Rosalyn has a nice racket going. Mom asks if he'd rather stay home every night until Calvin's eighteen.