Mom asks why Calvin is still in bed. She's called him three times. Calvin says he's staying in bed until Christmas. He wants tons of loot this year, and he figures his chances of being good improve greatly if he doesn't get up. Mom says that disobeying his mother and missing the bus isn't good, it's bad. As Calvin hops into his clothes, he says that darn Santa has got him every way he turns.

Calvin tells Hobbes he hates this time of year. He has two more weeks to be good if he wants Christmas goodies. He says he tries to be good. He says his heart is pure as the driven snow. He says sometimes events beyond his control conspire against him. Hobbes rolls his eyes, and Calvin catches him. They start fighting. Calvin says Hobbes' eyes will be rolling toward each other when he's through with him. Hobbes counters by saying he hopes Calvin asked Santa for some crutches.

Still fighting, Calvin calls Hobbes a miscreant. He asks if Hobbes questions his integrity. Hobbes replies he can't question it until he sees some evidence of it. Calvin stops and realizes he's been fighting. Calvin yells to Santa that Hobbes made him fight. Hobbes yells that Calvin meant to fight and that Calvin started it. They start fighting again, calling each other liars.

Calvin stops again and tells Hobbes that since no one saw them fighting, it can be their little secret. He says Santa doesn't have to know about this. Hobbes isn't sure if Santa does or not. Calvin apologizes to Hobbes. Hobbes replies that Calvin bit and kicked. Calvin says he apologized and wonders what else Hobbes wants. Hobbes says Calvin could let him read all his comic books. Calvin replies "Over my dead body". Hobbes pretends to write Santa a note about what Calvin did today.

Calvin tells Hobbes that if it wasn't so close to Christmas, he'd pound him good. Hobbes wants to see him try. Calvin won't be tempted. He wants every item on his Christmas list, so he's being good. Hobbes mentions Susie Derkins is coming. Calvin looks for a pine cone to throw at her. He stops, clenches his teeth, and says he's going to be good. Hobbes says he'll never make it to Christmas. He might as well give up now and enjoy himself.

Susie asks Calvin if he's bringing Hobbes to school. Calvin says Hobbes is just keeping him company while he waits for the bus. Calvin goes on to say Hobbes has been nothing but trouble today. He's trying to sabotage Calvin's Christmas by making Calvin be bad. Calvin tells Susie that he asked Santa for such great presents that he can withstand any temptation. Susie asks what he asked for. Calvin tells her a heat-seeking guided missile. He figures five minutes with one of those babies makes up for the whole rotten month.

Hobbes brings Calvin a letter from the "North Pole". Calvin opens the note and reads that he's a rotten little kid, he's obviously the naughtiest kid in the whole world, but he has seven days to get on the "good boy" list. The note suggests being kind to animals. Perhaps an animal who would like a snack soon, or one who could read his comic books sometime. It's signed "Santa Claws". Calvin recognizes the handwriting. It is from Hobbes. Calvin offers Hobbes a knuckle sandwich for a snack.