Calvin is in the doctor's office wondering what the doctor is doing. The doctor shows his tongue depressor, the stethoscope, and Calvin wonders if they will hurt him. Finally, the doctor pulls out an ear light. Calvin asks what that is, and the doctor tells him a cattle prod. Calvin keels over, while the doctor says little kids have no sense of humor.

Calvin is in the doctor's office getting his arm swabbed. He asks if the doctor is going to put a leech on it, if he's being bled, or going to amputate. As Mom is reading a magazine, Calvin yells that the shot went through his arm. He yells that he's dying and hopes the doctor's malpractice insurance is paid up. Calvin calls him a quack and yells for his Mom, as she buries her face into the magazine.

The doctor is seeing Calvin. He tells Calvin he understands he's not feeling well. Calvin retorts that he's fine. He sits around torture chambers in his underwear for kicks. He asks to see the doctor's degree and calls him a quack. The doctor says he isn't going to hurt Calvin. He just wants to examine him. Calvin says that what's wrong is that he has Dr. Frankenstein for a pediatrician. The doctor whispers to the nurse to call the anesthesiologist. Calvin tells him his Dad is a lawyer and not to come near him.

Spaceman Spiff is in a dungeon on the planet Zog. A guard leads Spiff to the interrogation room. The inquisitor says he finally gets to meet the famed Spaceman Spiff. He trusts Spiff is enjoying his visit. Spiff calls him a maggot from Mars and says he'll never give in. Calvin is hiding behind the scale with the doctor on his knees telling Calvin not to make him recant his Hippocratic oath.

Calvin slowly puts his shirt back on. The doctor tells Mom that Calvin just caught the bug that's going around. He tells her to keep an eye on Calvin and let him know if Calvin isn't feeling better soon. Calvin sleepily walks away. The doctor tells him he was a good patient today. He then tells Mom there's nothing like a little virus to take the edge off a kid. Mom says she'd still rather let his teacher deal with him.

The doctor tells Mom that Calvin has chicken pox. Calvin asks if he's a veterinarian. The doctor says it will run its course in about a week. Calvin complains that the doctor is mad. He accuses him of having the real doctor tied up and gagged in the other exam room. The doctor says Calvin is extremely contagious, so he needs to be kept from other kids. Calvin wants Mom to sue him and drive up his malpractice insurance. Horrified, Mom repeats that Calvin has to be inside for a week. The doctor notices a nasty twitch Mom has developed. Calvin offers, for ten dollars, to make sure the doctor sees all the kids in the waiting room again real soon.