Rosalyn, the baby sitter, comes to the door. Mom thanks her for coming on such short notice. She mentions they've had a difficult time finding a sitter. Mom has the notion Calvin has gotten a reputation. Rosalyn asks for half her money up front as Mom goes for her purse.

Rosalyn is lying on the sofa, talking to her boyfriend on the phone. She tells him she's baby sitting Calvin. The boyfriend wonders if she's having any problems. Rosalyn says no. She says you have to show kids who's boss. Calvin and Hobbes are in the garage. Calvin asks Hobbes how much longer it will be till Rosalyn lets them out. Hobbes says she told them 8:00, and it's almost 6:30 now.

Mom thanks Rosalyn for baby-sitting. Rosalyn says Calvin was no trouble. Dad offers to drive Rosalyn home. They say their good nights. As Dad drives home, Calvin pops out of the back seat asking if she's gone.

The baby sitter arrives as Mom and Dad are going out. Calvin declares that she isn't his Mom, so he doesn't have to pay attention to her. Calvin will do whatever he wants to, so he tells her to stay out of the way. The baby sitter shows Calvin a list of emergency phone numbers that was left. She warns him about him not wanting her to call any of those numbers. Calvin says it's 6:30, so he'll turn in. The baby sitter says for eight bucks a night, she doesn't put up with much.

Calvin can't believe his Mom signed him up for swimming lessons. As he stands next to the pool in his trunks, he complains about freezing his buns off at 9 in the morning. He knows he'll jump in the ice water and drown. He thinks the only way things could be worse was if the class was being taught by his sadistic baby sitter. Rosalyn is standing there in her swim suit and says "Look who's here".

Rosalyn calls for everyone to get into the pool. Calvin refuses, saying he's freezing already. Rosalyn asks Calvin if he knows what a "rat tail" is. She explains what it is and says it's worse than being cold. Calvin is in the pool saying he thought lifeguards were just taught how to resuscitate people and things like that.

Calvin complains about the cold water. He's sure he'll go into shock and drown. He thinks the lifeguard is involved in an insurance scam and is trying to drown everyone. Rosalyn announces they're going to learn the "deadman's float". Calvin screams for his Mom. Rosalyn, with her hand over her face, laments what she puts up with to pay for college.

Calvin crawls out of the pool saying he doesn't want to learn how to swim. He says he doesn't need to know how and will always stay on land. Rosalyn asks what he'll do if he falls out of a boat. Calvin puts on a huge preserver vest and says "No big deal".

Mom leaves and says good-bye to Rosalyn. Rosalyn calls up the stairs to Calvin to see if he's up there. Two suction darts come flying down at Rosalyn. She charges up the stairs, rolling up her sleeves. She tells Calvin it's "Bedtime for Bonzo". Calvin complains that it's only six o'clock.

Calvin and Hobbes are lying in bed. Calvin can't believe they were put there, and it isn't even dark out. Calvin decides that while she can put them in bed, she can't make them sleep. He gives Hobbes a horn, he gets a tom-tom. Rosalyn looks in and reminds Calvin that sleeping in a bed is a privilege, and that the basement will be less comfy. Hobbes wonders what she meant by "the basement". Calvin quickly turns and says "Shhh!".

Mom calls Rosalyn to tell her they are going to be later than planned. Rosalyn tells her Calvin went to be early, and she's just holding down the fort. In the background, Calvin yells out. He wants to know if that's Mom. He wants to talk with her. He yells for her to come home before it's too late. Rosalyn tells Mom it's just the TV and to enjoy the play.

Mom and Dad come home. Mom asks if Rosalyn got Calvin to bed. She replies yes, but. Calvin yells down the stairs asking if that was Mom and Dad, did they get rid of the baby sitter, and thanking goodness they were home. Mom asks if he's been that way all night. Rosalyn says his voice gave out around 11:00, but yes. Calvin yells for them not to pay her anything. Mom tells Dad to give her a little bit extra. Dad wonders if five is enough. Rosalyn suggests eight, since college tuitions are up.

Mom leaves and tells Rosalyn that Calvin is upstairs. Dad hopes he's not too much trouble tonight. Rosalyn tells them not to worry. She brought a cattle prod this time. Calvin starts climbing out the window. Hobbes tells him Mom and Dad laughed, so it might have been a joke. Calvin isn't taking chances. He thinks Mom and Dad may think scorching little kids is fun. He keeps going down.

Rosalyn knocks on the bedroom door. She tells Calvin they can make some popcorn. She looks in and sees the sheets tied together going out the window. She looks out the window and sees Calvin. She yells for him to come back inside. Calvin yells back that if she wants him, she'll have to catch him. Calvin says she's wearing cleats and takes off running with Hobbes.

Rosalyn catches Calvin and herds him back to the house. She tells him no more monkey business. She tells him it's her job to watch him, and she's going to do it even if she has to tie him to a chair. She asks if he gets it. Calvin clicks his heels, sticks his arm out in salute, and says "Jawohl, mein Fuehrer". She grabs him by the collar and asks if he'd care to repeat that last comment. He tells her he said he wasn't going anywhere.

Mom and Dad get home and ask if Calvin was any trouble. Rosalyn says she sent him to bed a little while ago, but he wasn't much trouble. There's a knock on the door. Dad wonders who it could be at that time. He opens the door to a policeman. He tells them they received a call about two hostages being held at the house. Both Mom and Dad yell up the stairs for Calvin to get downstairs.

Mom opens the door and apologizes to Rosalyn. Rosalyn says it wasn't too wet and cold outside. Mom and Dad are running late, so they tell Rosalyn to help herself to anything in the fridge. Dripping wet, Rosalyn looks down at Calvin. Calvin says the door was jammed, and he couldn't get it open. Rosalyn tells him to go to bed.

Calvin tells Rosalyn that he's on a strict Big Mac diet, doctor's orders. Rosalyn says she better call the doctor. Calvin is worried that Rosalyn will call the doctor and find he's lying. Rosalyn pretends to call the doctor's office and asks about Calvin's dietary needs. Rosalyn tells Calvin the doctor says he should have a spoonful of castor oil and lie down all evening. Calvin is glad the doctor wasn't angry, but he doesn't know what castor oil is.

Calvin complains about the way Rosalyn set the table for dinner. The food smells funny, and it isn't fixed the way Mom does it. He likes the way Mom does it better. Rosalyn yells to Calvin that she's not his Mom. Calvin says Mom loves him more than life itself. She lets him do whatever he wants. Calvin calls Rosalyn a nasty ol' barracuda. Rosalyn can't believe she postponed a date for this.

The phone rings, and Rosalyn answers it. It's her boyfriend, Charlie. She starts telling him Calvin is driving her up the wall. Calvin gets on the upstairs extension and tells Charlie that Rosalyn is a sadistic kid-hater. He warns Charlie not to marry her, she'd be a terrible mother. Calvin, after being sent to bed, yells that after Charlie dumps her, he'll thank Calvin.

Calvin wants to escape. He's been sent to bed before Calvin's normal bedtime. Calvin hatches a plan to have Hobbes moan. When Rosalyn comes in, he'll throw a blanket over her. They'll tie her up and make their escape. Hobbes starts howling. Calvin yells down to Rosalyn that something is wrong with Hobbes. She asks if she should call the vet. Calvin says no, but she should come upstairs and close her eyes.

Mom and Dad return home. Mom asks how Calvin was that evening. Rosalyn is standing with arms crossed and a scowl on her face. Mom pays Rosalyn and thanks her. She gives a five dollar advance on the next time. Dad comments that Rosalyn has a nice racket going. Mom asks if he'd rather stay home every night until Calvin's eighteen.

Mom lets Rosalyn in. She tells Rosalyn that Calvin is upstairs hiding from her, so she may have an easy evening. Rosalyn says that would be good, since she has to study for a big test tomorrow. Upstairs, Calvin and Hobbes are listening around the corner. As Hobbes rubs his paws together, and Calvin puts on an evil smile, he declares that tonight is "The Revenge of the Baby Sat".

Rosalyn is studying her papers at the table. Calvin comes up and asks what she's doing. She tells him she has to study tonight, so she wants it quiet. Calvin says he understands and tells her he and Hobbes won't make a peep. He asks to see what she's studying. As Rosalyn tells him not to touch anything, Calvin grabs her notes and runs away.

Rosalyn chases Calvin, who has her study notes. Calvin and Hobbes run into the bathroom. They lock the door just before Rosalyn gets there. She tells Calvin through the bathroom door that if he doesn't open the door, his parents will never find his remains. Calvin holds her papers over the open toilet and tells her "Here go your notes".

Rosalyn pounds on the bathroom door telling Calvin he has two seconds to unlock the door and return her science notes. Calvin suggests she adopt a more humble attitude. He warns her she wouldn't want anything to happen to the notes. Rosalyn rattles the door knob, calls Calvin a "Scummy little troll". As she's telling him what she'll do when Calvin's parents get home, she hears the toilet flush. Calvin tells her "There's one page". Rosalyn is horrified.

Rosalyn grits her teeth and says Calvin had better not really have flushed her notes. She has a test tomorrow. Calvin says with that at stake, his demands should seem reasonable. Rosalyn says he doesn't get any demands. She wants him to open the door. As Calvin walks over to the toilet, he says a high school senior should catch on quicker. He says he should write the school board. Hobbes readies the "torpedo tube".

Calvin tells her he hopes she memorized the page already, because she'll never see it again. She tells him not to flush it and asks what his demands are. Calvin tells her he wants to stay up until his parents drive in. Then, he wants Rosalyn to get a pizza and rent a video player. She tells him he's out of his mind. Calvin continues and asks if she's writing these down.

Calvin opens the bathroom door and peeks out. He calls to Rosalyn, asking if she's calling the fire department. She darts around the corner and grabs Calvin. As she carries him off, he tells her he didn't really flush her notes. He says they're all there and asks her not to kill him. He's put to bed. Hobbes points out it's 7:00. They got to stay up a half hour longer than usual.

Mom and Dad return home. Mom asks if Rosalyn had a quiet evening and got her studying done. Rosalyn has a worn look to her face. She says she's sorry, but tonight is going to cost them. Having paid Rosalyn, and her having left, Dad asks Mom if she's sure that no one in town will baby-sit Calvin. Mom replies that maybe he'd like to spend a week on the phone.

The doorbell rings. It's Rosalyn! Calvin goes to the door. He tells Rosalyn that his parents have changed their minds about going out and won't be needing her services. Dad comes out and asks Calvin what he's talking about. Calvin says they can't go out if Mom can't find her shoes. Dad wonders what Calvin knows about that. Calvin looks guilty, says he doesn't know anything and asks if Mom's shoes are missing. Rosalyn asks to be paid in advance.

Calvin is upset Mom and Dad left them with the baby sitter. Hobbes asks if Calvin thinks she remembers how they threatened to flush Rosalyn's notes down the toilet. Calvin laughs, calling it their finest moment. Rosalyn opens the door and tells Calvin to get ready for bed. Calvin protests that it's not even 6:30 yet. In bed, Hobbes says she remembers. Calvin says he's going to call the rescue squad.

Calvin comes down the stairs. Rosalyn asks why he's out of bed. Calvin tells her he heard a thump outside. He wants her to check to make sure it's nothing scary. Rosalyn didn't hear a thump, but she offers to check. Calvin waits behind her, thinking her to go another two steps. Rosalyn looks out the door.

Rosalyn shows Calvin there is nothing outside. Calvin closes the door behind her. He locks the door. He and Hobbes can watch TV and eat cookies until they're sick. Hobbes says this is the best they've ever been baby sat.

Rosalyn yells in for Calvin to let her inside. From the top window, Calvin taunts her by saying there's only a 50% chance of rain. Hobbes notices her trying to open the downstairs windows. Calvin already has locked them. Rosalyn looks in the window and tells Calvin to open the door. Calvin asks what's in Rosalyn's purse and says he's going to look.

Rosalyn yells in that she's going to tell Calvin's parents about this. Calvin yells down for Rosalyn to pipe down. He and Hobbes can hardly hear the TV. Rosalyn says that he isn't supposed to be watching TV. Calvin offers that if she'll go get a VCR and a movie, they'll put the TV near a window so she can watch. Rosalyn shakes the door knob. Calvin asks if she's 18. He wants her to get "Venusian Vampire Vixens".

The phone rings inside the house. Rosalyn hopes it's Calvin's parents. She yells in that she hopes they ask to speak with her. Calvin says it's her boyfriend, Charlie. He offers to say she's indisposed. She wants to talk with Charlie. Calvin asks Chas if he isn't settling for too little in the girlfriend department.

At the restaurant, Mom and Dad are holding hands with wine glasses on the table. Mom says it's nice for them to get out of the house alone together for a change. Dad says it's so nice and quiet, they should do it more often. At home, Rosalyn yells in that she's going to break a window to get in. Calvin, on the phone, tells Chuck that his girlfriend is a psycho. He hopes Charlie isn't making any long-range plans around her.

Calvin and Hobbes are sitting on the floor watching TV. Calvin says this is fun. All the TV shows they aren't allowed to watch and a bag of cookies each. They hear a slam. Calvin wonders what it is. It's Rosalyn! Calvin is horrified and wonders how she got in. Mom and Dad come up behind Rosalyn. Calvin gulps and decides it's past his bedtime.

Mom drags Calvin while he protests that is was a misunderstanding, an innocent mistake. Mom explains that locking Rosalyn out of the house wasn't just mean, it was dangerous. She explains that if he had gotten hurt or there was a fire, Rosalyn wouldn't have been able to help him. She tells Calvin to go apologize. Calvin does. Dad adds that he and Mom are sorry too and assures her Calvin will behave himself next time. Rosalyn says an extra five would help there be a next time.

Mom invites Rosalyn in. Dad says Calvin will be on his best behavior, but Rosalyn asks for an advance. Dad isn't sure about that. Mom asks to speak with Dad. Dad tells her Rosalyn asked for an advance on tonight when she left last time. Mom tells him she doesn't care. She tells Dad to pay what it takes to get them out of there.

As Dad leaves, he catches Calvin's attention. Dad drags a finger across his throat, then closes the door. Calvin sits on the floor and says he's going to look at the wall tonight. Rosalyn says she'll tell him when it's bedtime.

Stupendous Man streaks across the sky. The man of mega-might zooms to the rescue. Baby sitter girl is momentarily distracted. Rosalyn is on the phone with her boyfriend, Charlie. She says she's at the little monster's house again, but that he's been pretty good tonight. Stupendous Man is creeping up behind her.

Rosalyn is telling Charlie that Calvin's parents are so desperate to get out once in a while. Stupendous Man leaps up yelling that freedom and justice shall always prevail over tyranny. He knocks Rosalyn off the chair. Stupendous Man has the strength of a million mortal men. He tells Rosalyn to give up. Rosalyn grabs the phone and tells Charlie she'll have to call him back. She says he wouldn't believe what the cretin is wearing. Stupendous Man has a leglock on Rosalyn and says he fights with heroic resolve.

Rosalyn rolls her sleeves up and asks if Calvin wants to play rough. Stupendous Man thinks she must have super powers, too. Rosalyn tells him he has two seconds to get his caped butt in bed, or she'll put it there for good. Stupendous Man says the evil Amazon is using a psycho-beam to weaken his stupendous will. Rosalyn starts counting. Stupendous Man tries to resist. When Rosalyn says "two", Stupendous Man is off.

Stupendous Man is out the door. Rosalyn yells out that his parents told him to behave. She says they're not going to be happy when they hear about this. Mom and Dad are in the restaurant. Dad says that if they had bought a dog like he wanted, they could go out like this all the time. Mom says they came to relax and should talk about something else.

Rosalyn is outside with a flashlight looking for Calvin. Stupendous Man, in his treehouse, plans his strategy. Calvin goes back inside to his bedroom. He tells Hobbes that he made a stupendous dash when Rosalyn went around the house. He says she still doesn't know where he is.

Rosalyn comes into the room. Calvin tells her he's been there all the time. Rosalyn tells him he snuck outside, took off his costume, and jumped in bed. She says he's going to get it now. Calvin thumbs his hands at Rosalyn asking what she can do since he's already in bed. She grabs Calvin and tells him to get downstairs. Calvin protests, saying he needs his sleep.

Calvin is holding onto Mom's leg. Dad is pulling one of Calvin's legs to get him off. Calvin sees Rosalyn. Dad tells Rosalyn the neighbors' numbers are by the phone, and could she pull a leg? Rosalyn asks if she told them her rates have doubled.

Rosalyn offers Calvin a deal. She says if Calvin doesn't give him any trouble tonight, they'll play a game. He asks what game, "Kill the Kid"? She adds that he can stay up half an hour past his bedtime. Calvin obediently sits there.

Calvin gets to choose the game to play. He asks if it's a trick, and Rosalyn tells him they can play his favorite game. He chooses Calvinball. Calvin tells Hobbes to get the time-fracture wickets. Rosalyn asks what the heck is Calvinball.

Calvin finishes his homework, and he says he has to make Rosalyn a mask. When she asks why, Calvin tells her no one is allowed to question the masks.

Calvin sings a Calvinball song about having a game that's never the same, it's always bizarre. It's named after him. He tells Rosalyn to harmonize with Hobbes on the rumma tum tums. Rosalyn thinks this was a mistake.

Calvin has the Calvinball, so everyone has to go in slow motion. When Rosalyn tries to clarify what's happening, Calvin tells her she has to talk in slow motion. In slow motion, Rosalyn says this game makes no sense. It's as if he's making it up as he goes. Calvin says she's stumbled into the perimeter of wisdom. They run. Rosalyn now understands.

Rosalyn says if she's in the perimeter of wisdom, she gets to make a decree. She decrees that Calvin has to catch a water balloon she throws high into the air. As Rosalyn races to get a balloon, Calvin tells Hobbes that she picked up the nuances of this game fast.

Rosalyn tosses the water balloon into the air. As he runs, Calvin says he's in the corollary zone. If he catches the balloon, the thrower has to bend over and hold still. Calvin catches it. He thinks this is going to be sweet. Rosalyn grabs Hobbes and holds him behind her.

Calvin tells Hobbes not to guard Rosalyn. He wants to hit her with the balloon. Calvin says he'll just have to soak both of them. Rosalyn touches Calvin with the flag. She says the baby sitter flag means he has to obey the baby sitter. She says it's a half hour past his bedtime. They have to go in. Calvin grumbles about the darn baby sitter flag.

Dad pulls up and sees the house is still standing. Mom asks how everything is. Rosalyn tells them everything's fine. She says Calvin did his homework, they played a game, and Calvin went to bed. Dad says it's awfully late for jokes. In bed, Calvin says he noticed that when they play games with girls, Hobbes gets captured a lot. Hobbes says some of us are just irresistible.