Miss Wormwood tells Calvin to put his tiger in his locker. Calvin protests that Hobbes would suffocate. Miss Wormwood allows Calvin to put Hobbes under his seat. Calvin is relieved and promptly asks Hobbes for some math assistance.

Miss Wormwood takes Calvin to the office to see the principal. Spaceman Spiff is captured and is being taken for torture. He knows the aliens are after the formula to the atomic napalm neutralizer. Spiff springs into action. The principal asks Miss Wormwood why Calvin is eating his hall pass.

Miss Wormwood calls to Calvin about not paying attention. Spaceman Spiff shoots the atomic napalm neutralizer at the snarling cur, but to no avail. Spiff runs off to a nearby cave, where he smells something awful. Suddenly, a light comes on, and Spiff finds himself in the midst of several monsters. Calvin runs out of the teachers lounge, as they ask who that was.

Spiff is being pursued. His hyper-freem drive fails. A frap ray nearly misses. Finally, Spiff is hit. He's going down and wonders if he'll make it. As Calvin lands on the ground after coming down the slide, he kisses the sweet ground. Miss Wormwood thinks maybe Calvin should play on the swings instead.

Miss Wormwood asks the class who will be the first to do his book report. Calvin, sitting at his desk with a smile on his face, is chosen. Calvin just sits there as Miss Wormwood calls his name again. Then, Spaceman Spiff pulls his death ray blaster as the monster approaches him.

Calvin fumes from being humiliated and vows Susie will be sorry if she passes another note to him. Susie then does just that. She gives Calvin another secret note for Jessica. This time, Calvin yells to Miss Wormwood that Susie is passing notes and that she should read the note to the class. Miss Wormwood reads the note telling Jessica that Calvin is a squealer. Calvin murmurs a comment to Susie about hoping she knows a good dentist.

Miss Wormwood tells Calvin he's not paying attention again. Spaceman Spiff is trapped. He dives for the air lock. Miss Wormwood grabs his shirt as he's hanging out the school window. She tells him, "Nice try, Calvin".

Spaceman Spiff is being chased by a scum being. He spots his hovering spaceship and heads for the ladder. As he climbs, the scum being is upon him, and he knows he's too late. Miss Wormwood has told Calvin three times that recess is over and to get inside.

Spaceman Spiff is in his spacecraft. He fires his hyper-jets and blasts into the fifth dimension. Into a world beyond human comprehension, where time has no meaning. Calvin sits at his desk in class thinking this class lasts forever.

Miss Wormwood asks Susie where Calvin is. Susie says she doesn't know, that he was just there a minute ago. She wonders if he went to the bathroom. Miss Wormwood says he's on stage in two minutes. He picked a fine time to go to the bathroom. Calvin, in the bathroom, says it's a fine time to get stuck in his costume zipper.

Spaceman Spiff is hit. He plummets toward planet Zog. There's no place to land. His controls don't respond. His fuel explodes due to the stress. He has ten seconds to impact. He starts counting down...nine, eight. Miss Wormwood says "Well, Calvin?". He shouts "Seven". Miss Wormwood congratulates him on his correct answer for ten minus three. She thought he wasn't paying attention. Miraculously, Spiff makes a three-point landing. Spiff saves the day again.

Calvin sits at his school desk, begging not to have to go in front of the class. He clasps his hands together praying that Miss Wormwood call on someone else. He begs for her not to embarrass him. Miss Wormwood calls on Calvin to go to the board. Calvin says so much for his ever joining the clergy.

Miss Wormwood asks Calvin if he'll show the next problem on the board. He says no and stays in his seat. Miss Wormwood asks him why not, and Calvin replies he'd rather not say. He says it's a personal matter. She says he'll have to do better than that. Calvin asks if the words "complete pandemonium" strike terror into her heart.

Calvin is in front of his class starting his report. He explains it will be difficult to explain the complexities of the brain in five minutes, but he starts with saying it's a part of the central nervous system. He looks at his wrist watch, then says he'll wait a few moments so they can finish writing that down. The teacher yells his name.

Spaceman Spiff has been captured by the hideous Zorgs of planet X-13. He looks for an avenue of escape as he's led through the dungeon. He's brought before the Zorg despot. The leader has been waiting for this moment. He tells Spiff he has information they want. If Spiff cooperates, they'll kill him painlessly. Calvin asks the twisted space crustacean what he wants. The reply is "a summary of Lewis and Clark's expedition to the Pacific". Calvin tells Miss Wormwood that wild Zontars couldn't drag that information out of him. Miss Wormwood asks if he didn't read his assignment.

Spaceman Spiff flees the scum beings of planet Q-13. He turns his spaceship around to face the adversary. He tightens his grip on his death ray trigger. It doesn't work. He tries his mertilizer beam. It doesn't work. Neither does his phospho bombs nor his mordo blasters. Nothing is working. At his desk, Calvin is saying "1812! Gettysburg! 16 fluid ounces! I before E! Thomas Edison!" The teacher asks if someone who has been paying attention can help Calvin.

Miss Wormwood asks the class what the importance of the Battle of Lexington is. Calvin is sitting at his desk when Miss Wormwood asks for anyone to answer. She calls on Calvin, who is shocked and horrified. His hair stands on end, and his eyes bulge. He replies that it's hard to say. He thinks his cerebellum just fused.

Calvin whispers to Susie, who's sitting in the desk ahead of Calvin. He wants to copy her paper. She tells him no. He sits and pouts. Then, he reaches into his desk for something. The teacher shouts his name when she sees him holding a periscope, looking over Susie's shoulder at her paper.

Calvin has his hand over his heart reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. He pledges allegiance to "Queen Fragg...and her mighty state of Hysteria". Miss Wormwood drags him down the hall to the principal's office. Calvin says it's going to be a long year.

Calvin asks Miss Wormwood if he could be excused. He says he has to go, bad. Miss Wormwood lets him go. Mom opens the door and asks Calvin what he's doing home. Calvin tells her he had to go.

Calvin is sleepy and sighs at his school desk. Suddenly, the desk grows into a dinosaur. Calvin hops onto the dinosaur as it runs out of the school. Miss Wormwood smacks Calvin's desk with a stick, and he wakes up. Gradually, his eyes close again and he sighs. This time, he's flying on the back of a pterodactyl.

Mom opens the bedroom door and tells him to get out of bed, he's going to miss the bus. He stands at the blackboard doing a math problem. Miss Wormwood tells him to sit down if he doesn't know the answer. Moe holds him up by his shirt, clenches his fist, and asks Calvin if he wants to see if there's an afterlife. As Calvin tries to go out his bedroom window, he's told he can't go out to play until his homework is done. Calvin stirs his dinner, and Dad tells him just to eat it and not to play with it. Mom tells him to quit stalling and to take his bath. Dad turns off the TV and tells him he can't stay up later and to go to bed. Mom comes in after Calvin climbs in bed. She kisses his forehead and tells Calvin to get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow's another big day. After the light is turned out, Calvin sighs.

Calvin whispers over to Susie to help him think of scientific names of his bugs while the teacher's not looking. Susie tells him they're not supposed to talk in class. She tells him to do it himself. Miss Wormwood asks if Susie is having a pleasant conversation. Susie is horrified! Miss Wormwood asks her to move up front so she doesn't distract Calvin anymore. Calvin says he tried to get her to be quiet, but you know how girls are.

Spaceman Spiff blasts across the galaxy. Miss Wormwood asks Calvin to demonstrate the next problem. A Zok death sloop appears and fries Spiff's stabilizers. He hurls out of control toward his doom. Calvin writes the math problem on the chalkboard. The situation is desperate. What can our hero do? He downshifts his spacecraft and...stalls. Calvin writes a bunch of numbers and lines on the board. The class bell rings. Oh, darn, out of time. Spaceman Spiff once again beats all odds to save the day.

Susie is passed a note. It's from Calvin. He wrote a poem. Roses are red, a deep crimson hue, when you got in trouble, you sure were too. Susie is enraged. She starts writing a note to Calvin, calling him dirty, rotten, lousy, stinking, and a nasty piece of moldy scum. As she's writing, Miss Wormwood catches her and asks if she's now writing notes in class. Once again, Susie is horrified!

Calvin sees Susie returning from the principal's office. He thinks she looks pale. He wonders what happened. Calvin whispers over to her. He asks what they did to her. Did she get expelled? He asks if she snitched on him, and Susie looks at him with an evil smile. Calvin says she's a stoolie, a canary. She tells him he's going up the river.

Spaceman Spiff is going down over planet Gork. The planet is inhabited. Spiff's stabilizers refuse to respond. Our hero's going to crash. This spells disaster! Calvin is startled by the teacher calling his name. He spells disaster. The teacher congratulates him for paying attention. Once again, Spaceman Spiff beats all odds to save the day. The teacher tells him he can sit down. He's standing on his chair, fists clenched together.

Miss Wormwood asks if Calvin will lead the class in the Pledge of Allegiance. Calvin asks what the Supreme Court decided about that. He asks if it's a prayer. He asks if she has to read him his rights. He complains that he's only there because his parents make him go. He doesn't want to be a test case. He says he doesn't even know what court district he's in. The principal opens the door for Calvin, who can't believe it's not even 8:15 yet.

Spaceman Spiff is being pursued by scum beings. Spiff's only chance is to release a giant smoke cloud behind his spacecraft. Miss Wormwood is standing next to Calvin, who's clapping the erasers together into a billowing cloud. The principal opens the door for Calvin, who can't believe it's not even 8:30 yet.

It's recess and there's a tyrannosaurus on the playground. The kids at the top of the slide go first. They had pushed and fought each other to be there. Teachers line the kids up to go inside. That's a sad mistake. The kids are gobbled up like Children McNuggets. The playground is empty. The tyrannosaur lets out a triumphant roar. Miss Wormwood sees Calvin's empty desk and wonders where he is. One of the kids in the class sees him by the swings yelling or something.

Miss Wormwood asks the class if there are any volunteers to give his report first. Calvin volunteers. Miss Wormwood is surprised. She says Calvin must have done a good job. She tells Calvin to start. Calvin begins by pointing out to everyone that his report is in a professional, clear plastic binder. Calvin continues by saying when a report looks this good, you know it'll get an "A". He says that's a tip, kids, and he tells them to write that down.

Calvin starts with a dramatic reading of "With a creepy, tingling sensation, you hear the fluttering of leathery wings. Bats! These unspeakable giant bugs drop onto...". The class all replies "Bats aren't bugs". Calvin asks them who's giving the report. Those chowderheads or him? Miss Wormwood would like to see Calvin a moment.

In class, Calvin has a question. He asks Miss Wormwood if they could stop the lesson and adjourn to the playground for the rest of the day. Miss Wormwood says of course not. Calvin then asks if just he can.

Miss Wormwood asks Calvin to demonstrate the homework problem that was assigned. Calvin says he wasn't there yesterday. Miss Wormwood says he was present. The explanation is that he is duplicate number five. Duplicate number two was at school yesterday. They are taking turns. Number two will be back next week, so she can ask him to do the problem then. In the principal's office, Calvin says he doesn't see what's so hard about this.

It's Tracer Bullet, Private Eye. It says so on the door. He planned to take the day off with his buddies. They travel light and are fun to have around. One travels in a holster, the other in a hip flask. The last thing he wanted was a case to solve, but the dame who brought it was persuasive. Miss Wormwood tells Calvin to get to work. Calvin is sitting at his desk, with his feet up, thinking it would cost her fifty greenbacks a day, plus expenses.

Bullet says the Derkins dame wasn't talking. Someone had gotten to her and shut her up good. He knows Susie. Closing her mouth would have taken some work. He needed a clue and a drink. He knew where to find one of them. Miss Wormwood grabs Calvin and says he's had enough trips to the water fountain. Tracer says a gorilla pulled him into an alley, squeezed his spine into an accordion, and played a polka on him with brass knuckles.

Tracer's head was exploding with fireworks. When he came to, the pieces fit together. Jack and Joe's life were defined by integers. They were in a "numbers" racket. Back in the office, Tracer pulled the files on numbers big enough to keep Susie quiet and to want him out of the picture. Calvin answers 1,000,000,000 on his quiz. Case closed!

Calvin is in front of the class for "show and tell". He has a souvenir from the afterlife. He says it's as amazing as his story of yesterday afternoon, when he actually died of boredom. He says he was doing his homework when he collapsed. He felt himself rising and saw his crumpled body on the floor. He drifted up in a shaft of light and entered the next world. Eventually, his heart started again, and he came back to life. But he didn't come back before bringing his souvenir. He pulls out a yo-yo. He tells Miss Wormwood it was pretty boring there, also. She wants to look at his homework.

Calvin is sitting at his desk. His head droops forward as he fights sleep. The teacher yells for him to pay attention. He lifts his head up. He says there's no head rest on his chair. He should sue for whiplash.

Spaceman Spiff zooms to the surface of Ahnooie-4. He sets off to search for sentient life. Spiff only discovers a hideous blob so stupid it just stares completely straight ahead, unaware of anything around it. Our hero decides to put the blob out of its misery. Susie yells to Miss Wormwood that Calvin's shooting spit balls. Perplexed by the blob's resilience, Spiff adds more juice and prepares to fire again. A giant creature comes up behind him.

Calvin sits at his desk with teeth gritted. He says Spiff is being held prisoner by hideous aliens. He wonders what they want with him. Spiff is called before the alien potentate. It becomes clear Spiff is going to be sacrificed....to appease the evil god they call "Nollij". Miss Wormwood tells Calvin to go to the blackboard.

Calvin, looking at the math problem on the board, says our hero thinks fast. He slowly reaches for the tiny atom blaster concealed in his belt. He turns and tells the bloodsucking, mutant chromosomal disasters that he's out of there. Miss Wormwood tells Calvin to give her the rubber band right this minute.

Spiff escapes. The smelly corridors of the fortress are deserted. All the aliens had gathered for the spectacle of our hero's demise. The space explorer makes it to the planet surface, but the alien queen is in pursuit. Miss Wormwood yells for Calvin to come back to the room. Spiff jumps into his spacecraft and blasts off. He's safe!

Calvin stands in front of the class and asks if UFO's are real. He holds up pictures while asking if the amateur photographer got pictures of a sinister alien spaceship and the grim results of a close encounter. Or are they an elaborate hoax? He implores the class to listen to the space alien expert speculate on their hideous biology and their horrifying weaponry. All this and more on Calvin's show and tell coming up next. Miss Wormwood asks Calvin to come over to her.

Smiling at his desk, Calvin feels he knows math cold. He hopes the teacher calls on him. He hopes he gets to do a problem at the board. He'll impress everyone. Miss Wormwood hands Susie some papers and asks her to take one and pass the rest down. She asks what it is. Miss Wormwood says it's a math quiz. Enthused, Calvin says "Hot dog".

Planet 6 is about to collide with Planet 5. Our hero cuts loose the anchor and flies to safety. The planets grind and shatter with awful force. Planet 5, being smaller, is crunched to dust. Only Planet 6 remains. Calvin answers the problem....6 + 5 = 6. The teacher calls time. Calvin is horrified. He's only answered the first problem.

Calvin wonders how time can be up. He hurriedly writes random numbers on the paper. He hopes for some to be right by sheer luck. Calvin hands in the paper. Susie reminds him they have a bet on who has the higher grade. Calvin says the bet's off, he doesn't gamble.

Calvin's homework is on the table. The book attacks the pencil. It bites the pencil, then turns to attack the paper. It bites and eats the paper. It then turns to Calvin. Miss Wormwood says his book eating his homework is a new one. Calvin says he's lucky to be alive. He had to break the book's spine.

For show-and-tell, Calvin has bone fragments he unearthed in his front yard. He says they look like ordinary driveway gravel, but he recognized them as part of a jawbone from a new species of carnosaur. He has an illustration of the Calvinosaurus as it would have appeared. He says he'll be publishing his full findings soon. He feels he'll be the recipient of many paleontology prizes. He says those students who were mean to him will suffer then. He says he'll employ his resources to make their puny lives miserable. He'll crush their pitiful dreams and ambitions like bugs in the dust. But he offers an alternative. He's accepting a limited number of applications to be his pal. It costs just $20 per person. Calvin sits in the principal's office. Calvin tells him to just wait.

Miss Wormwood asks if Calvin would like to summarize what they read in class. Calvin declines, saying he's here against his will. He refuses to cooperate. He shakes his fist and says they can transport his body to school, but they can't chain his spirit. Walls can't confine it, laws can't restrain it, authority has no power over it. Miss Wormwood tells Calvin that if he put half the energy into his protests into his schoolwork... Calvin interrupts her by saying she can try to leave a message, but his spirit screens its calls.

In rhyme, Calvin is lying in the snow, making an angel. He sees a UFO. The aliens snag Calvin with a hook on his overcoat and hoist him aboard. He tries to fight away, but it's no use. The tie him up and wired his cranium to a suction cup. Current courses across his cerebellum, coaxing things from his brain tissue he wouldn't tell them. All the math he ever learned were removed in this operation. Calvin tells Miss Wormwood his escape was an adventure, but suffice to say, he cannot add, so she should ask some other kid.

Calvin tells Hobbes he's perfected his duplicator this time. He says he added an ethicator. Now, instead of a complete duplicate of him, he's made a duplicate of just his good side. The good side duplicate does all the work, and Calvin gets all the credit. At school, the good Calvin raises his hand that he knows the answer. Miss Wormwood pats his head and says since he's gotten so many, he should let someone else try one.

Miss Wormwood asks Calvin to do the next problem. He just sits there. She asks him again. Calvin turns around, wondering who she's talking to. Miss Wormwood yells that she wants him. Calvin tells Miss Wormwood that Calvin the Bold demands he be addressed by his full title for any response. In the principal's office, he asks Calvin if he's back again. Calvin looks around, wondering who he's talking to.

Miss Wormwood says they'll move to the next chapter if there are no more questions. Calvin asks what is the point of human existence. Miss Wormwood explains she meant any questions about the subject at hand. Calvin looks at his book and says he'd like to have the issue resolved before he expends any more energy on this.

Miss Wormwood hands back papers. She tells Calvin he can stop signing his work "Calvin, boy of destiny". She thinks his time would be better spent studying than drawing "official notary seals" at the bottom. Susie asks about "boy of destiny". She says everyone she knows thinks Calvin's destiny is a private cage in the primate house. Calvin tells her that her destiny is to have a smile that is all gums.

Miss Wormwood asks if Calvin can tell her what Lewis and Clark did. Calvin says no, but he offers to recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Miss Wormwood tells him to see her after class. Calvin dejectedly says he's not dumb. He just has a command of thoroughly useless information.

Miss Wormwood asks Calvin if he read the history chapter she assigned. Calvin says he tried, but the book publisher didn't use the proper print fixative. When he picked up the book, all the letters slid off the pages and fell on the floor. As he walks to the principal's office, Calvin says his excuses need to be less extemporaneous.

Calvin darts out of the classroom. Spaceman Spiff flees his Bloatoid captors. He scrambles into his spacecraft. He hits the hyper-thrust drive. He's soon just another speck in the infinite sea of outer space. He's free to roam the heavens in man's noble quest to investigate the weirdness of the universe. Outside, Hobbes is happy Calvin could come home so early. Calvin suggests they go exploring and find some gross bugs. Inside, Mom answers the phone. The school tells her what happened.

Calvin asks Miss Wormwood what assurance he has that this education is preparing him for the 21st century. He asks if he's getting the skills to effectively compete in a global economy. He wants a high-paying job when he gets out of school. Miss Wormwood suggests he start working harder. She explains you get out of school what you put into it. Calvin says to forget it then.

Calvin reads a report in front of the class. He says the country was founded around 200 B.C. Miss Wormwood asks what he means. "Before Calvin" is the reply. Calvin is sitting in the corner, on a stool, dunce cap on his head. He says that's what's important.

Miss Wormwood asks Calvin to read his story. Calvin reads that Hobbes, the handsome tiger, saves the day. He reads that Calvin is a time traveling chowderhead. Miss Wormwood asks if there's a problem. Calvin says there will be for a stripey furball when he gets home.

Calvin tells Miss Wormwood he's a fierce advocate of the separation of church and state. However, he feels the need for spiritual guidance as he faces the day's struggles. He wonders if he can strip down, smear himself with paste, and burn a little effigy of her. As he goes to the principal's office, he realizes that's a touchy subject.

The pterodactyl flies over the water. Suddenly, a creature rises out of the water yelling for Calvin to pay attention. Miss Wormwood says they're studying geography. She asks what state he lives in. Calvin replies "denial". Miss Wormwood walks away, saying she can't argue with that. The pterodactyl flies off.

Calvin raises his hand in class. He wants to say education is the most important investment in their future. It's scandalous how little educators are paid. Miss Wormwood stands dumbfounded. She asks the class who else didn't do the homework for today. Calvin mumbles he'd like to see more teachers out on the streets.

Calvin walks to the front of class saying the class wonders how the clothes walked on their own. He picks up a piece of chalk and says it's floating around. Calvin has made himself invisible. His shirt comes off. He says he'll take off his clothes and head for the door. Miss Wormwood picks Calvin up. He says the pants are hovering over the class.

Calvin asks Miss Wormwood that if ignorance is bliss, her lessor would be an attempt to deprive him of happiness. That's an unalienable right according to the Declaration of Independence. He hops out of his chair, saying he'll assert his patriotic prerogative not to know the material. He tries to leave the classroom but is grabbed. He cries out for help from the monarchists.

Calvin is on his notebook paper. He's been doodling, so there's a tank for him to enter. The tank goes wherever Calvin wants. He shoots the school. Miss Wormwood tries to stop Calvin. He shoots again and again, but the shells have no effect. Miss Wormwood stands over Calvin's desk. She tells him to hand it over and see her after class. Calvin hands her his drawings and says the arts are the first to go in public schools.

Calvin sits at school with a smile on his face. He thinks it's exciting to get a secret message in the mail. He wonders if the message will arrive in the mail today. Miss Wormwood is trying to tell him something, but he sits with his smile. As Miss Wormwood continues talking to him without Calvin hearing, he wonders who sent it and why was it sent in code. Calvin sits in the principal's office with a smile on his face. He thinks he's growing up to be a spy, since he's so good at figuring out what's going on.

Calvin tells Miss Wormwood she can present the material, but she can't make him care. Later, on the swing, Calvin happily says rumor has Miss Wormwood up to two packs a day, unfiltered.

Susie is playing and turns at a sound. It's a pack of deinonychus dinosaurs. Susie runs toward the school doors, but the pack closes in. The predators have a meal. Other students look on in horror, wondering who's next. The weak and stupid are weeded out in a natural selection. That's how it ought to be. Miss Wormwood thanks Calvin for a tasteless and uninformative report on overpopulation.

Calvin brought a single snowflake for show and tell. He says they can all learn a lesson from how the unique crystal turns into a boring molecule of water, just like every one of the class, when you bring it into the classroom. He walks off saying that while the analogy sinks in, he'll be leaving.

Miss Wormwood passes out the tests. Calvin asks if he can get something from his locker. Calvin won't tell her what it is. Miss Wormwood tells him to do his test. Calvin says she's spoiling a great surprise for the class. Miss Wormwood says it would be a surprise for her if he'd get to work.

Calvin starts coughing during the test. He asks to get a drink of water. He runs out to his locker to get his Stupendous Man costume.

Miss Wormwood notices Calvin hasn't come back from the water fountain. Susie tells her Calvin might be at his locker, since he brought something to help with the test. Miss Wormwood walks down the hall, thinking "Five years until retirement". Inside the locker, Stupendous Man sees his nemesis, the Crab Teacher, coming for him.

Miss Wormwood opens the locker, and Stupendous Man comes out. Calvin spells stupendous, with a meaning for each letter. He gets stuck near the end and can't finish. Miss Wormwood brings Calvin back to class, complaining teachers need to also be psychologists.

Stupendous Man escapes from Miss Wormwood. He enters the classroom to do Calvin's test. Susie tells a classmate that she doesn't hardly even know Calvin.

Stupendous Man answers the test questions, then runs out of the classroom. On the way, he reminds the kids to always brush their teeth. The class sits with stunned expressions on their faces. Miss Wormwood comes in asking if Calvin has come in. Calvin walks in behind her, out of the Stupendous Man costume, wiping his mouth from his long drink.

Miss Wormwood starts the class review of the chapter. She asks Calvin where the Byzantine Empire was. Calvin thinks, then answers that he'll take "Outer Planets" for $100.

Calvin asks Miss Wormwood that since his generation doesn't absorb information this way, could she reduce everything to factoids. Miss Wormwood goes on. Calvin says at least their televisions understand them.

Calvin gets a grade of "F". He complains that if he's not learning the material, Miss Wormwood must not be a very good teacher. She says something, but Calvin imagines Spaceman Spiff facing a horrible alien. After she's finished, Calvin asks what she just said.

Miss Wormwood asks who would like to show his poster first. Calvin volunteers. Calvin announces it's drawn in "3-D Gore-o-rama". He says the poster will actually draw flies because of the spaghetti sauce. Calvin can see the class is just sick about their chances of winning.

Calvin asks Miss Wormwood what the point of learning integers is if they're all just going to die. Miss Wormwood ignores him. He grouses that nobody likes "big picture" people.

In class, Calvin shouts that this is a big waste of his time. Later, he yells it's the thought police as hands try to grab him back into the classroom.

The numeral '3' turns into a pterodactyl. It flies past a brontosaurus, whose neck forms the numeral '2'. Calvin sits at his school desk while the teacher asks what three plus two is.

Calvin closes his book and says he's through learning today. He gets up and tells the class he'll see them tomorrow. Miss Wormwood looms in front of him. Calvin sits back at his desk, grumbling about him being a better judge of when he's through.

Miss Wormwood tells Calvin his test was a disgrace. She says the first president was not Chef Boy-ar-dee. She says he should be ashamed to turn in such preposterous answers. Calvin says he just doesn't test well.

Calvin tells Miss Wormwood he isn't going to learn the material until she makes it enthralling. Miss Wormwood asks what he'll do if the rest of his life doesn't entertain him. Calvin asks if Miss Wormwood thinks he'll live someplace that doesn't get cable.

Miss Wormwood gives Calvin his paper. He got an "A". Calvin is in a parade with a key to the city. People are cheering him, and fireworks are going off. Miss Wormwood tells the class to open their books to the next chapter. Calvin sighs.

Calvin hands Miss Wormwood a contract. It's an agreement to compensate Calvin for loss of job income because of his poor education. Miss Wormwood says if he gets a poor education, it's due to a lack of effort on his part, not hers. Calvin says somebody ought to pay him if he doesn't learn anything.

Miss Wormwood is lecturing the class. The picture scrambles and mysterious planet Zartok-3 appears. The picture scrambles again, and Miss Wormwood is right in front, pointing, and saying to pay attention. Calvin says when you change the channel, he doesn't think the original channel should be able to change it back.

Calvin asks the Miss Wormwood why she isn't teaching them the genders of nouns. He asks if a desk is masculine and a chair feminine. He says it's no wonder why they can't compete in a global market. He demands sex education. Calvin asks if her doctor knows she mixes all those medications.

The teacher asks for the class math papers. Calvin pulls his out, glad he did it. The numbers jump off the page. He yells for the answers to come back. The paper bursts into flames.

Calvin yells that his paper exploded. He says it's spreading as he tries to put the fire out. Miss Wormwood says she's tired of his constant disruptions. Calvin pleads that it was an accident. Miss Wormwood is a monster who pours gasoline on Calvin and says this will teach him a lesson. Calvin yells for help.

Calvin sits at his desk, wishing he had done his homework. He asks why he did this to himself. He had an extra day, and he still goofed off. He says he learned his lesson. Miss Wormwood comes into the room. The bell rings. Class is over. Miss Wormwood says she'll collect their homework tomorrow. Calvin asks Susie if he's sitting in a beam of light. She says it looks more like a puddle of sweat.

An alien says he's come to subjugate the human race. He says in addition to their value as slave labor, they're delicious and nutritious. He says for the custom of "show and tell", he'll show some of his terrible weaponry. Calvin is in front of the class. Miss Wormwood tells Calvin that's enough. One of the students asks if Calvin shouldn't be in some special school.

Spaceman Spiff lands on a bizarre planet. A mysterious mist arises out of nowhere. Spiff can't see a thing. At school, Calvin is at his desk. Miss Wormwood is explaining a math problem. Calvin says our hero's in a total fog. He says the atmosphere is a powerful sedative. Spiff can't keep his eyes open. Miss Wormwood stands by his desk as his head drops on the desk. Spiff is hanging upside down from ankle locks in a dungeon. He says our hero suddenly comes to.

Calvin decries they don't value craftsmanship anymore. He says ruthless efficiency denies their own humanity. He says there's no pleasure in creating things, if there is no appreciation for grace and beauty. He asks how a person can take pride in his work when skill and care are considered luxuries. Miss Wormwood tells Calvin he had two days to write that paper. He claims that's nothing.

Calvin asks his teacher if he can get a drink of water. She says it's alright, but he should hurry. Calvin runs down the hallway. Mom opens the door and asks Calvin why he's home. Calvin tells her he prefers their water.

Calvin says the bad grade he got is lowering his self-esteem. Miss Wormwood says he should work harder so he doesn't get bad grades. Calvin claims her denial of his victimhood is lowering his self-esteem.

Calvin is sitting at his desk with his eyes closed. Miss Wormwood calls on him. She calls again. Still no answer, nor any eyes opened. She puts her hands on his desk and calls his name again, loudly. Calvin is startled awake. He tells Miss Wormwood his eyes were on screen saver.

Miss Wormwood asks if Calvin is chewing gum. He mumbles a reply that he is. She asks if he has enough to share with everybody. Calvin takes a giant wad of gum out of his mouth. He says he probably does, but he asks if she really thinks they want it. In the principal's office, Calvin pleads that it was her idea.

Calvin is sitting at his desk. Suddenly, he asks what he's doing in there on a beautiful day. He says this is the only life he has. He runs off. Miss Wormwood returns him to his desk, saying to try a drink of water and a few deep breaths next time.

Someone is flying a spacecraft, cruising between large mesas, heading toward the horizon. A monster appears ahead of the spacecraft. Miss Wormwood is standing in front of Calvin's desk. He's startled awake. He looks at his school book. He sees a herd of dinosaurs as he comes out of the bushes.

Miss Wormwood asks Calvin to demonstrate the next problem at the board. Calvin walks forward like a robot. He mechanically says he would be happy to do it. He says he has been programmed to obey all directives. He has no free will. As Calvin walks to the principal's office, he asks if anyone appreciates theater.

Miss Wormwood reads a note from the President of the United States, indicating Calvin should be excused because his genius is required on a matter of national security. Miss Wormwood looks at Calvin and tells him it was a nice try. Calvin sits down, grumbling that he needs to learn how to write in cursive.

Calvin puts on his lucky rocketship underpants, admires himself in the mirror, and marches off, ready to face the school day. He sits in gum. He's caught peeking at a classmate's paper. Moe knocks him into the lockers. The water fountain sprays his face. His show and tell goes badly. No one wants him on their team at recess. He doesn't know what the lunch is. He can't get on the swing. Everyone in class knows the answer except him. He stares out the window at the sunny day. He misses the bus home. Calvin walks home in the rain. In bed, he looks out the window and says that some days even lucky rocketship underpants don't help. Hobbes says he's done all he could do.

Mom tosses Calvin out the door to catch the school bus. Miss Wormwood is frustrated with his paper. Moe steals the ball from him. Calvin can't figure out the math problem in front of the class. Calvin drags mud in on his shoes, and Mom yells at him. Finally, Calvin goes outside to play. He tells Hobbes the world isn't so bad if you can just get out in it.

Calvin raises his hand in class. He tells the class that tomorrow, he'll bring a big surprise. It will either shock and amaze them, or it will disgust and terrify. He tells them not to miss it. Miss Wormwood tries to return to the lesson. Calvin tells the class that's called a teaser.

Miss Wormwood sits at her desk. She hears "Boy genius to fanged terror". Calvin is talking into a walkie-talkie in pig Latin. He's asking for the answer to six minus four. Miss Wormwood says she'll take the walkie-talkie, and Calvin can take the test.

Calvin wonders how long it's been since he looked at the clock. He thinks maybe an hour. He decides to guess half an hour to be safe. He looks. Twenty seconds! He thinks it's going to be a very bad day.